What is your purpose? Gosh, isn't that a loaded question! I don't feel qualified to answer or even ask this question. Every day we're bombarded with everyone having it "all together" on social media. I look at one person and think.. "maybe that's what I should be doing". But how do you really know? I believe that God will guide you where you need to go. It's funny because sometimes people look at me and what I'm sharing on social media and they tell me how "put together, accomplished and beautiful I am". Although I appreciate their well meaning comments, I just want you to know that looks can be deceiving. Most days I feel like I don't add up and I wonder what God has in store for me. I put on an air of what I call mock confidence, but really... I'm a big, giant, broken mess on the inside.
The last few weeks I have been struggling big time with not getting enough done or being where I think that I should be in my life and business. No matter how much I do or don't get done everyday, I am always battling this constant nagging of "You're not good enough. Why would God use you? You're not anyone special. You think that you're better than everyone, but you're really just a loser. You think God has a big plan for your life? Ha! You'll never amount to anything. You're a horrible person. You're undeserving of God's love. You're unworthy".
Ummm.. yeah. Not the most pleasant things to have running through your head especially when you're a christian. I should be above this I mean c'mon, I've been saved and I know that God forgives me.. so what's the problem? The problem is that I can't forgive myself. I've become Satan's punching bag, and I've let him! I have let him tell me that I'm unworthy, and I've believed him! I've been praying and asking for help and although I'm not totally there yet, I'm on my way.
I came across Jordan Lee's post "to the one who feels unworthy", and it was literally like a light bulb moment! I'm not ashamed to say that I cried like a baby because I finally started to understand. People like Tim Tebow, Sadie Robertson, etc... all talk about placing your worth or identity not in what you do, but in Jesus. I finally understand what they mean. We in ourselves... are worthless. Sad, but oh so true. You could be the CEO of apple or you could be a homeless person living in a box. In yourself and your own works, either way, you're worthless. You don't add up to anything. No matter how low you fall or how high you climb the social ladder, you can never improve your worth.
When you bring Jesus into the picture though, it totally changes everything. Do you know what worth means? Something is only worth what someone else is willing to pay for it. Romans 5:8 says that Jesus payed for YOUR life with HIS. Isn't that the ultimate cost? Giving up your life to save someone else's? Jesus payed with his life for yours, because of this, you and I are given great WORTH. We are not worthy because of what we have done. WE ARE WORTHY because Jesus has already payed the price. So when you are feeling down on yourself and unworthy of love or joy, remember that you are WORTHY because of Jesus. We won't always be perfect (I'm sure as heck not), but we don't need to be. That's what Jesus is for. We'll fall and fail constantly, but always remember, you have more WORTH than you can ever understand and you are so very special to God. (see John 3:16)